The infamous WHAT IF

Growing up there were five things I knew I wanted to be amazing at:
1. Being a great daughter
2. Being a great wife
3. Being an amazing mother
4. Being an incredible sister
5. Being the best teacher ever

I'm still working on all of them and while I might feel like I've failed at a few, there is no bigger failure than knowing you didn't do a good job raising your kids. As a mom, there is always that big WHAT IF......

-WHAT IF I say something to them that they never forget and feel angry towards me for it?
-WHAT IF I'm so busy trying to keep up that I miss something they say to me and it breaks their heart?
-WHAT IF I can't handle one kid crying while the other demands my attention at the same time? (because today this was how it was)
-WHAT IF I'm not the amazing mother I think I should be?
-WHAT IF I raise my voice in frustration not realizing it even happened?
-WHAT IF I fail in raising great kids and end up raising messed up ones instead? (I know I'll love them no matter what- heck my mom does after all of the mess I put her through)

WHAT IF I fail? That's the real question here. It's something not all moms talk about, but with the craziness approaching that is now our lives and the overwhelming balance act that is having a newborn and a 4 year old I can't help but panic and wonder "WHAT IF?" I said I would be honest in this blog and I am going to be- please no judgement. I'm sure I sound like an awful mom with what I just asked, but there are times where you do things or say things or catch yourself doing them and think "OH MY GOD! I'm an awful mom"

You see this little pin here from Pinterest....it's truth. Not shouting that my kids are great kids, but saying in my eyes they are and behind them is a mom worried she's screwing it up. It's life...it happens- if I didn't care I wouldn't worry. But honestly, I worry more now because Coach is gone more and when he is here, he's exhausted which is expected and understandable. He does his best to jump right in, but the "Super Mom" in always tries to handle it all on her own. I'm starting to feel the pressure of needing to be a super mom who cooks, cleans, and teaches her kids (because hell I teach 22 others during the year- I should at least be able to teach Ladybug) and then the balance of wanting to make sure to support the Coach as much as possible while preparing myself for the school year. It's a crazy balance that not many people talk about out loud, but here it is people- I'm saying it. No matter what you are doing- whether it's being a mom, being a teacher, or being just you....there is always that worry of "WHAT IF?" 

Here's to hoping it turns from "WHAT IF I fail?" to "WHAT IF I rock this?"

You say it's your birthday....

Happy Monday y'all!

Let's be honest...who is ever happy about Monday. As a teacher, Mondays well...suck! During the summer, they usually are awesome, but right now Mondays once again kinda suck. Coach heads back to work so my support team in wrangling these two little crazy kids is gone most of the day. I'll say and no one judge or yell at me- I totally could not do the stay at home Momma thing. Right now, I'm rocking the newborn mom theory- "If I take a shower before noon....I rocked it...like a BOSS!"

Enough of my sad whining (I know tons of Mommies who rock having more than one kiddo and still look fab- so I can't complain...I CAN DO THIS!)

This weekend was a good one! Coach's birthday was last Tuesday so of course I started it off with an embarassing photo of us then and now. Let's just say that some of us got better looking with age and it sure wasn't me....What the heck y'all? Coach is seriously the only man I know aside from my dad who gets better with age- how does he get any more handsome than I already thought he was? Lucky girl over here!! Holla!

If you know me , then you know birthdays are a big deal in my family and in this house. Ladybug caught the birthday love I have and  decided we need party hats, plates, and decorations. And of course, how could we forget....the annual cookie cake. Don't tell Coach, but I got him this the first birthday we were together (all of 11 years ago) thinking he would figure out that I love them just as much as he does and get a clue that I would love one for my birthday every year as well- Yea...I'm still waiting for mine. It's now a tradition that the man gets his cookie cake every year. Did I mention I'm still waiting for mine- he hasn't caught on. WHOMP! WHOMP! 

Here's our celebration. Even Gray got in the mix! 

This week also marks the beginning of the end for us. Yes everyone Summer is coming to an end. I won't depress myself with even counting how many weeks or days we have, but just know it's coming. :( According to Coach himself, "this is when all hell breaks loose." This week he will be gone all day at training camp and then coach meetings in the afternoon- I'm excited to hear all about it. And then it's on to football practice starting in August. One thing I'm not excited about is that he has "Coach School" in Dallas this coming up Sunday- Wednesday. PARTY AT MY HOUSE!!! WOOT! WOOT! Just kidding- it will just be me and the kiddos here. Pray for me y'all- If I go missing your best bet will be to find me at Mariana and Joe's house (the parentals)! Here's to a fun week of new things and getting started on getting my pre-pregnancy weight back....that's a whole other blog day. :)

Have a great week!

And so it begins....

From the moment we found out Coach had the position for coaching Varsity football as an assistant, I knew that I would be a football widow and I was totally okay with that.
Funny thing is....when you have a 4 month old and realize that you've been doing everything solo for the last 4 weeks every morning- you realize that "holy smokes!!!" that happened sooner than I thought.
I guess we went into the Summer thinking we at least head until July before Coach would be gone everyday. Oh well! Such is the life of a Coach's wife.

So I spend my mornings trying to get the kids dressed and organized, finding time to clean, and beginning to panic about the school year ahead. This girl needs to get all up ons getting her class ready and stuff for the beginning of the year done.

Did I mention I need to get down to my pre-pregnancy weight...yea throw that on top of this fun called our 1st year of coaching and teaching together...BOO!

What's this bizness?

Please excuse my so not teacher like spelling up there, but we are silly in this house of ours and say silly things like "whiz biz" and bizness all the time. :)

So what is up with this "bizness"? If you know me well then you know:
1. I'm a talker and I love to talk and share anything and everything about my life- the good, the bad and the downright ugly at times. I'm definitely not shy and I'll always tell it like it is.

2. I'm a total dork and joke around a lot. I use sarcasm to get through life and make fun of things, say things that most wouldn't and probably offend people more than I should.

That being said...I'm pretty damn funny (yes...the teacher and wife said "Damn") and even with my sarcastic spirit...I'm a good person who loves to share ideas and make new friends.

I decided I wanted to share this journey of my first year as a coach's wife with the world- in hopes that maybe someone will read this silly blog and find it useful. At least hoping they find it funny or entertaining at times. I'm sure there will be tons of crazy stories filled with tales of my two little ones, stories of the incredible kids we inherit from the team and hilariousness that is our life in the Coach's house.
So jump on and hold on because here goes nothing!