For the past two months, I have loved every minute of being a Coach's wife and have made some amazing friends in the process. There have been moments of "how am I going to do this by myself?" and "I need a break...when do I get a break?" , but there have also been many moments of excitement for games, joy of meeting new people and families who adore my hubs, watching him do his thing, and hearing stories about all of these amazing kids and knowing some of them by name. I've loved my moments under the Friday Night Lights cheering for the team regardless of our record or struggling defense and offense.
One of my favorite things is the amazing group of women and children I have been surrounded by. Each has their own story, their own history with the sport and life, and each have been some of the kindest people I have met. It felt like a family and my babygirl relished in the lights, the band, the new friends, the cheers, and watching her daddy on the field. It was my happy after a long week.
Sadly...it's come to an end. Not by my given choice, but by the choice of the hubs. It was best for him and it was a decision he wadded in for weeks. As weeks went by, I saw the light and joy fall from his eyes. His enthusiastic smile and conversations of football turned to frustration and doubt. I'm sure this happens to many coaches and many wives of coaches, but this time it was different. He was losing his love and passion to coach.
To understand why he chose to walk away you must know the truth about his coaching in football. Coach volunteered to coach this year in football in hopes of getting his foot in the door.It was something we discussed as a couple and decided that if he couldn't find a position in high school right away it was his best option if someone was crazy enough to do it. They did....he convinced them and he jumped right in. (Now you must also know he is a "paid" varsity soccer coach as well.) He worked as a coach from the moment they said yes with one request "Please don't treat me like a volunteer". With that request, he promised to be there everyday, whenever needed, requesting the same amount of work as an actual coach, willing to do whatever it takes to shine and make it happen. And in my eyes he did just that.
With all of that being said....he loved what he does, he loved the kids and seeing them grow each day. But there comes a time when going unpaid, spending endlesss hours away from your newborn and growing little girl, speaking, but being unheard and ignored ....become too much. You stay in something like education and coaching to make a difference, but Coach and I agree that when you are being denied that ability...you keep fighting, find another way to do it, or sadly have to walk away. Coach has chosen to do two things...find another way to do it and walk away from a program that we are grateful to for giving him a chance.
We have no ill-will towards the program for things not working out. In fact, it was a blessing to have had the short time we did have with the program. As a wife, I don't get involved in Coach's work business. He honors my opinion and takes what I say to heart, but he does what he has to with his job regardless of what I say. So I can't really say what happened or point fingers at who's fault it was that it ended, but I will say this- God works in mysterious way. He brings people in and out of your life for a reason. He places situations in front of you to learn from and grow.
This was an amazing experience to learn and grow from and we are grateful for the people God has brought into our lives from it. I might not have much to blog about when it comes to the football season right now, but I definitely will have soccer stories coming up. :)
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